Wide Awake
by UndoneChaos
Summary: The f'ck is this? Three teens playing truth or dare, and for Tweek we know that can't be good! Another one of my f'ed up stories. Read on!
1. Chapter 1

**BITCH, I can't WAIT to post this!**

**Disclaimer: IDOSP.**

"Truth or dare?" A simple one-or-the-other. This or that. But not for me.

I have two options before me. And it's one hard decision. The results of the latter are as bad as the first.

If I pick truth: Knowing my friends, this probably isn't a good choice. Normally, it would be asked, _who was your favorite teacher_ or _who was your first crush_? But not for me. Instead of the normal questions that everyone else gets, the easy-to-answer ones, I would get something so difficult for me to answer that I would possibly have another breakdown. Instead of _what is your favorite color_, I would get _why are you such a freak-spaz-coffee addict_? And I honestly don't know the answer. It would puzzle me so much, I would have another ADD moment and that would result in me getting locked in the closet for the rest of the night.

If I pick dare: Knowing my friends, this option could be even worse. For anyone else, the dare would be _eat a spoonful of butter_ or _do the chicken dance_. Well, I'm not anyone else. Instead of getting an easy dare like the others, I would be dared to _moon everyone who walked by for the next hour_, _dance like a stripper against the tetherball pole at school tomorrow_, or the worst dare of all. _Go without coffee for more than five minutes._ My friends suck balls.

So you see, when I get asked to pick either **truth** or **dare**, I have to think about it for a while. Lucky me!

I turned my head to Craig, frowning as I did so. "You motherfucker! Gah! You know I—Gah!—can't pick!" Craig just smirked.

"Too bad. Pick." His smirk melted back into his straight faced expression, and he bore holes into my eyes with his own. "Pick, Tweekers''.

"Gah! Fine….. I pick truth?" I asked, very wary of the question about to come my way.

Craig's eyes lit up. "Oh, I see… Clyde, what should we ask him?" Clyde grinned.

"Tweek, do you own a dildo?" Clyde asked, smiling like nobody's business. My eyes went wide and I twitched.

See, this is what I mean. No one else would have had to answer that! Oh well. "Are you serious? I'm not a girl, I don't got—Gah!—no vajayjay! Mother—Geh!—fucker! No, I don't own a dildo!" I practically screamed in embarrassment. When I talk about stuff like vaginas I always start talking in a funny way. It's not my fault, vagina is just a fucking weird word!

"You can use them in your ass too, gaywad!" Clyde spat. I could tell he was disappointed with my TRUTHFUL answer. Well too bad for him. I turned to Craig.

"So, it's my turn now?" I asked tentatively. He sullenly nodded. "OK, truth or dare?" This was the fun part. I got to make my friends do stuff. Craig flipped me off for picking him. I smiled.

"Dare, I ain't no pussy!" He snarled at me. I winced.

"OK,—Gah!—I dare you to call…" I tapped my chin in thought. "…Kyle, and ask him out!" Now it was Craig's eyes that got wide.

"I'm not gay! The fuck, dude?" Clyde, meanwhile, was not being a very good help to poor Craig. He was too busy laughing his chubby ass off. Not that I minded.

"You picked!" I laughed. Craig sighed, flipped me off, pulled out his cellphone, and dialed Kyle's number.

The phone started ringing. "Put it on speaker!" I requested. Craig did so. Kyle picked up on the third ring. I struggled to keep my girlish giggles in.

"Yes, hello?"

"Is this Kyle?"

"Yes…"

"It's Craig. Um, will you…." He gritted the last words out through his teeth. "Go out with me?" I giggled. He hissed.

"Um, no, sorry… I don't swing that way."

"Oh, OK great. Bye!" He hung up as quickly as possible, looking relieved.

"OK, Tweek, your turn. Truth or dare?" He grinned evilly at me. I sighed.

"I have no choice but to choose—Gah!—dare, do I?" I twitched when he nodded.

"I dare you, Mister Tweekers, to sing… Wide Awake by Katy Perry!" I gulped. "And you have to wear a maid outfit, and you have to dance on that table''. He pointed to the coffee table.

"WHY ME?" Craig and Clyde just laughed at my helpless plea. I crinkled me nose. "Fine, arrogant assholes. Get me the—Gah!—dress!" Clyde reached into his backpack and pulled out the shortest, most revealing maid outfit I had ever seen. I nearly cried at the horror. Instead, I grabbed the dress from Clyde's chubby hand and ran into the bathroom to put the horrid thing on.

It was worse than it looked! When I had finally put it—and the motherfucking thong!—on, it looked way more revealing. The bra was way padded so it stuck out about seven inches, and the skirt was so short that it didn't even cover my whole butt. I groaned. _Why did my friends insist on practically seeing me naked EVERY time we played this game?_ Oh well. I walked out of the bathroom and into the living room where the coffee table was. As I was getting up, Clyde had to mention my ass.

Sometimes I want to sock him square in the jaw.

_OK. I'm on the table now_, I thought. Singing the song wouldn't be a problem, I embarrassingly knew the words by heart. "I'm going to begin now! Gah!" I announced to the party of two sitting on my floor and probably trying to look up my dress. Dumbasses.

_"I'm wide awake_

_I'm wide awake_

_I'm wide awake_

_Yeah I was in the dark_

_I was falling hard_

_With an open heart_

_How did I read the stars so wrong _

_I'm wide awake _

_And now it's clear to me _

_That everything you see _

_Ain't always what it seems _

_I'm wide awake _

_Yeah, I was dreaming for so long _

_I wish I knew then _

_What I know now _

_Wouldn't dive in _

_Wouldn't bow down _

_Gravity hurts _

_You made it so sweet _

_Till I woke up on _

_On the concrete _

_Falling from cloud nine _

_Crashing from the high _

_I'm letting go tonight _

_(Yeah I'm) Falling from cloud nine_

_[ Lyrics from: k/katy+perry/wide+awake_ ]_

_I'm wide awake _

_Not losing any sleep _

_I picked up every piece _

_And landed on my feet _

_I'm wide awake _

_Need nothing to complete myself - no_

_I'm wide awake _

_Yeah, I am born again _

_Out of the lion's den _

_I don't have to pretend _

_And it's too late _

_The story's over now, the end _

_I wish I knew then _

_What I know now _

_Wouldn't dive in _

_Wouldn't bow down _

_Gravity hurts _

_You made it so sweet _

_Till I woke up on _

_On the concrete _

_Falling from cloud nine _

_Crashing from the high _

_I'm letting go tonight _

_I'm falling from cloud nine_

_Thunder rumbling _

_Castles crumbling _

_I am trying to hold on _

_God knows that I tried _

_Seeing the bright side _

_I'm not blind anymore _

_Falling from cloud nine _

_Crashing from the high _

_(Ya' know) I'm letting go tonight _

_I'm falling from cloud nine_

_I'm wide awake_

_I'm wide awake_

_I'm wide awake_

_I'm wide awake_

_I'm wide awake"_

I finished singing and got off of the table. Stupid bastards were grinning so much I wanted to chop off both of their dicks. "There. Done. Now let me get out of this—Gah!—dress." They kept grinning.

"We can't allow that, Tweekers. You're just too beautiful." Craig and clyde got up and walked over to me. I twitched.

"What'dya mean, you cynical assholes? I'm getting out of this!" And with that I stormed off to the bathroom, not hearing what Craig and Clyde had said in response.

**BOOM! BANG! THUD!**

"What the shit was that?" I said, emerging from the bathroom in my green fleece pajamas. A strand of my wild, blond hair was hanging in front of my eye. I heard moaning and grunting and stopped dead in my tracks. _What the Hell was going on? _And then I heard it. Two people moaning my name at the same time. I twitched and flung myself into the nearest room, slamming the door behind me. It happened to be a broom closet. I decided to collect my thoughts before going to investigate.

_OK, so loud banging, thudding, moaning, and grunting… IN MY LIVING ROOM_!In a flash of rage, I burst out of the broom closet and stormed down the hall into my living room, only to find my best friend and other friend jacking off to… apparently me? ME?! WTF, dude?

"WHAT THE—Gah!—FUCK are you two doing?"

**This bitch needs a cliffee! Should I continue? I already have the plot, but I don't HAVE to post it here...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Bam-a-damma-ding-dong! That's the sound of a new chapter coming out of the oven being delivered fresh to you! Wow, I'm so retarded.**

**Dissie: I don't own SP. But I do own a Kenny plush and the SP movie.**

''What the—Gah!—Craig? Clyde? WHY ARE YOU JACKING EACH OTHER OFF TO ME IN MY LIVING ROOM?" I twitched and shook in fury as I shouted at my friends.

Ok, the thought that they were jacking it to ME was kind of a turn on, but seriously? _The fuck, man_?

"Uh… Um, we were, uh, um…." Clyde struggled to find an excuse while Craig was just standing there blushing. BLUSHING! Craig Tucker! Yeah, I know, right?

"OK, I don't care. Craig, really? And Clyde, go eat a taco or something while I talk to him!" Telling Clyde to eat a taco was like telling his Christmas came early this year. Clyde gladly agreed, pulling up his pants and walking into my kitchen to make a taco. I turned to Craig.

"Geh! Explain, please!" I said. He nodded and pulling up his pants swell, sat down on my couch.

"You looked hot. We got boners. We jacked each other off. Are you really that naïve?" Craig said in his monotone voice. I gawked.

"I gave you two tents in your—Gah!—pants and you found the need to jack each other off? Geh!" I stared disbelievingly at him.

"Yep, Tweekers. You are one hot maid." Craig grinned. I just grunted and stuck my tongue out at him.

**There's the conclusion to the beginning intuition. But what happens next? I have writer's block, so hand me some ideas! :)**


End file.
